


Zhia’kala Tar’eh

by fromGallifreytoGallitep (sykira)



Series: Zhia’kala Tar’eh arranged marriage [1]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Canon Rewrite, DS9 rewrite, F/M, Forced Marriage, Past Rape/Non-con, kirashir
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-01-22 12:42:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21302252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sykira/pseuds/fromGallifreytoGallitep
Summary: This is a re-imagining of the series in which Sisko's role is more than the Federation's representative, and his relationship with Kira much more complicated than just commander and first officer.  It begins in this 8 part story then continues in the next in the series, a re-do of the episode 1x12 Battle Lines.In 4x14 "Return to Grace" Dukat points out to Kira that she’s the only female member of the Shakaar resistance cell who Shakaar hadn’t ‘charmed’.  Why that gave me the idea for this AU of the whole series is not quite, linear, but nevertheless, here it is.I clicked the warning for non-con out of an abundance of caution, but it's really just referencing the occupation and things that happened during it, as in "Wrongs Darker than Death or Night" - there is no rape or non-con in this fic, but it definitely could still be triggering.
Relationships: Jadzia Dax & Kira Nerys, Julian Bashir & Kira Nerys, Julian Bashir/Kira Nerys, Kira Nerys & Benjamin Sisko, Kira Nerys/Benjamin Sisko
Series: Zhia’kala Tar’eh arranged marriage [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1560253
Comments: 24
Kudos: 20





	1. The Intended

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from: Zhia’kala tar’eh anu suur te’von, aka’lu rez…ka’vor mat’ana kel  
...a Bajoran wedding blessing performed by the Emissary at the start of Accession (4x16)
> 
> Some dialog adapted from the DS9 pilot.

_“You are throwing it all away! All of you!”_

The strident tones reached Commander Sisko’s ears before he caught sight of the woman he had been equal parts anticipating and dreading meeting ever since receiving his orders to report to Deep Space Nine.

“Well then, don't ask my opinion next time!”

Sisko paused in the threshold of his new office, brought up short by the violence with which the young redhead slammed the controls on the console display, cutting off the video link to Bajor. She looked up at him and for a moment he froze; she was beautiful, all fire and fury.

“Yes?” she demanded.

“I'm Benjamin Sisko.”

Her entire countenance changed at his words. Her mouth opened and closed, and she drew herself up straight, tugging her uniform jacket down, as if faced with an unexpected inspection from a military general.

“Sir, I…I’m sorry I wasn’t expecting you just yet, I…” she swallowed and look down at herself before looking back up at him with a slight flinch. “I’m not supposed to be alone when we meet.”

“I’m aware there’s a ceremony later. Chief O’Brien was just showing me round and I wanted to take a look at my ops center.”

Her jaw set. “I suppose you want the office.” She appeared to be biting back annoyance, but enough leaked through that Sisko got the message. Apparently in addition to her role in saving Bajor from Cardassians, she had also been running the station.

He tried for a smile and a light-hearted tone rather than the clipped put down he might have used if she was merely his first officer. “Well, I thought I'd say hello first and then take the office, but we could do it in any order you'd like.”

She didn’t smile back. “Hello,” she managed, fidgeting under his steady gaze. A small frown added creases to her nose ridges.

“Is something bothering you, Major?”

“You don't want to ask me that, Commander.”

“Why not?”

She blew out a breath and it was only then Sisko realized she had been barely breathing since she realized who he was.

She lifted her chin. “Because I have the bad habit of telling the truth even when people don't want to hear it, sir.”

“Perhaps I want to hear it,” he offered softly. “And there’s no need to ‘sir’ me, considering what we are to each other.”

She stared at him, some of the color draining from her cheeks. “I don't believe the Federation has any business being here,” she blurted out, then stepped back, folding her arms in front of her defensively.

Sisko regarded her for a moment. _The Federation, or me?_ he wanted to ask. “The provisional government disagrees with you.”

She gritted her teeth. “The provisional government and I don't agree on a lot of things, which is probably why they've sent me to this god-forsaken place.”

_And to me? _he wondered, but she was still talking.

“I have been fighting for Bajoran independence since I was old enough to pick up a phaser. We finally drive the Cardassians out and what do our new leaders do? They call up the Federation and invite them right in.”

He spread out his hands. She was angry, but he was beginning to suspect a lot of it was also nerves. “The Federation is only here to help—”

“Help us. Yes, I know. The Cardassians said the same thing sixty years ago.”

His sense of unease was growing by the second, and the comparison to the Cardassians hit him like a sledgehammer. He had balked against an arranged marriage to begin with – such archaic traditions were thankfully rare in space-faring races, but the occupation had disrupted a lot of Bajoran culture’s natural evolution. The Federation anthropologists’ profile had been extremely detailed and persuasive however, so in the end he had gone along with it. But if his bride-to-be had such serious misgivings this was never going to work out, no matter how many experts insisted it was the only way to bond Bajor to the federation and thus protect them from the Cardassians coming back.

He took a deep breath, wishing that he had waited after all for the introduction ceremony that afternoon. “Major, when I was ordered here, I requested a Bajoran national as my first officer. It made sense. It still does, at least to me. Now, you and I are going to have to—”

He was interrupted by a bleep from the console. Her shoulders dropping in apparent relief, Kira focused all of her attention on the sounding alarm, then moved her shaking hand to open a comm link through the console.

A strangely-featured alien face appeared on the screen. “Yes, Major?”

“Odo, are you reading something at A-fourteen?”

“My security array has been down for two hours. I'll meet you there.”

She looked up at Sisko then, a tightness around her eyes and a stiffness in her posture. “We've been having a lot of break-ins lately. No need for you to come along, Commander.”

She didn’t move until he stepped back, clearing a path to the office door.

Sisko exhaled and set out to follow Kira, careful to keep a respectful distance between them. His worst fears had been confirmed: she was young, beautiful, clearly forced into this arrangement against her will, and almost certainly a victim of Cardassian violence her whole life if the way she flinched under his gaze was anything to go by.

This first meeting had not gone as he had hoped either—in his head he imagined an informal chat, just the two of them. A low-key introduction, putting her at her ease, giving him a chance in private to assure her he wouldn’t expect anything from her. Instead he had been stiff and formal, and in turn Kira was dismissive, angered by his very presence, and clearly distrustful. He was also worried her anger was in part a cover for underlying fear—that with the Federation they were facing just a different kind of occupation. So what did that mean for her if she was to be married off to the highest ranking Federation officer here?


	2. The Betrothal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this out of order, not even sure if Ao3 will let me insert a chapter, but let's try!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Undying gratitude to the Bajoran Language Archive:  
http://web.archive.org/web/20010819015425/http://home.t-online.de/home/DSteinle/BajLang/BLF1.htm  
http://web.archive.org/web/20010823212520/http://home.t-online.de/home/DSteinle/BajLang/dicmain1.htm  
and to https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/ for Bajoran ministers and clerics active at this time.

Tugging at his dress uniform, Sisko approached the Bajoran temple on the promenade with growing unease. Two stern Bajoran men in religious garb greeted him at the entrance. He vaguely remembered being introduced to them when he had first arrived. One of them was the vedek assigned to Deep Space Nine. Sisko struggled to recall his name.

They dipped their heads then led him inside silently, where he was greeted by a semi-circle of more officious looking men, and one woman. He recognized most of them as members of the provisional government, thanks to the Federation briefing materials he had studied in preparation for this assignment. The council of ministers delegates included Governor Avesta, Minister Toran, and the female, Senior Minister Azin. The Bajoran First Minister himself, Kalem Apren, stood beside the vedek who held court from the apex of the semi-circle.

The vedek bowed low. Sisko bowed too, awkwardly, thinking to himself not for the first time that he was poorly suited to an assignment with so much diplomacy, and maybe he should have turned this posting down on that basis alone, arranged marriage notwithstanding. _Solis,_ that was his name he remembered now, Vedek Solis Tend-something. The others lowered their gaze.

“Good afternoon,” Sisko began. He wished the Federation read-aheads had bothered to include the religious clerics too, as they clearly carried more weight here than the ministers. He supposed from a Federation perspective a planet was run by government, not by religious leaders.

“Commander Sisko,” Vedek Solis began. “We appreciate your presence here today. Are we expecting any other Starfleet delegates?”

“Captain Picard won’t be joining us?” An older monk’s tone radiated disapproval. “He was to represent the Federation at your side.”

“Captain Picard is a very busy man. You have me.” He spread his hands. “After all, that’s the groom’s purpose, right? To represent the Federation.”

The Bajorans looked at each other. Sisko sighed internally. He had turned down the notion of asking for Picard’s presence without a second thought. The last person he could stomach being present at his engagement wasving the borg who slaughtered his wife present at his engagement. “Is there a problem?”

The third monk answered him, bowing first. “Ranjen Solbor,” he introduced himself solemnly. “It is customary in a betrothal ceremony for marriages of the state for both parties to bring at least one representative to witness proceedings.”

“If you want to wait until tomorrow my science officer and chief medical officer will be reporting to the station in the morning,” he offered, appreciating the ranjen’s conciliatory tone. 

“We cannot wait,” the second monk chimed in again. “It would be most improper.”

Sisko tried a bow in response. It was enough to make the monk fall silent for a moment. “There are several other Starfleet personnel currently present on the station. My chief of operations Miles O’Brien seems a very able man, would he suffice?

The Bajorans nodded their assent. 

“I’ll go—”

Solbor cut Benjamin off. “No need. Prylar Latha can fetch him for us.”

The terse older monk bowed his head in acknowledgement, then walked smartly out of the temple.

“You’ll have to forgive Latha Mabrin if he seems a little…on edge,” the female minister spoke up. _Senior Minister Azin_, Sisko mentally rehearsed her name. 

“He and Kira served in the same resistance cell before Prylar Latha answered the call of the Prophets and joined the order.”

“He did?” Interesting career change, Sisko thought to himself. Latha was older than Sisko would have thought for a resistance fighter, but then the occupation had lasted sixty years.

“So he’s protective when it comes to Kira, she was the youngest in their cell. He took care of her like a father.”

The First Minister cleared his throat and Azin fell silent, giving Sisko a somewhat abashed look. Did they not want to focus on Kira’s age, Sisko wondered? He knew it had been something of a sore point when it came to the selection of the bride – that she was barely twenty six when most Bajorans didn’t marry before their thirties.

“I understand,” Sisko offered. He didn’t, truth be told, but he wanted to acknowledge someone here finally speaking to him like they were on the same side. 

The ranjen stepped forward and handed him a PADD. _Solbor, _Sisko recalled his name before it could slip from his memory again. The PADD contained the order of service, and his parts bolded. He glanced through it to make sure it was the material he had already memorized, nodding his thanks to Solbor.

“This won’t take long, commander,” First Minister Kalem spoke to him directly. “Do you have any questions while we wait for the bride?”

_Many,_ was Sisko’s first thought. “Does Major Kira have a representative too, or is it Latha?”

“In a sense we are all here to represent her. If her parents were living they would come to surrender her to her future husband, but as they perished in the occupation, she has asked Constable Odo to fulfill that role.”

“Odo,” Sisko echoed, his heart wrenching to hear Kira had been orphaned. He wondered how old she had been when she lost her parents. It made his fatherly instincts kick in and he felt empathy for Latha’s urge to protect her. 

“Yes, the constable has been an ally to the Bajoran people for many years—an arbiter of sorts here on the station between our people the Cardassian oppressors. So in a way it is fitting he be the one to broker this handover.”

_Handover._ He wanted to squirm at such a term. No one was an object to be traded, or a commodity whose exchange wrought something tangible, but yet that was exactly how she was being treated. Well, not on his watch. They had picked the wrong man to be the groom if they expected the Federation to treat her as anything less than a person who was free to choose her own destiny.

The ranjen and Minister Toran began dimming the lights, while Governer Avesta and Azin set about lighting candles. 

“She’s here,” First Minister Kalem said softly, gesturing for Sisko to follow him to the shrine’s small dais then stepping back to his place in the semi-circle as the vedek moved to greet Kira at the entrance.

Feeling awkward, Sisko folded his hands behind his back as he observed the major being led into the room. Should he think of her as his fiancée now? The word seemed to make things too real. Instead the archaic feel of the shrine and the ritualized liturgical wording from the betrothal ceremony brought to mind the outdated expression used in the service wording: his _intended._

His intended had one hand perched atop Odo’s arm, and with everyone’s eyes on her she looked as awkward as Sisko felt. He sighed internally, caught between irritation at the situation and his own irrational guilt at his part in making a young woman look so uncomfortable. He just wanted to get this over with.

For his part, Odo glowered at him. Sisko supposed he couldn’t blame the man. Aside from his obvious loyalty to the major, Odo and he had not gotten off to the best start with Sisko firing a phaser on the promenade when apparently his security chief had a no-weapons rule.

Kira glanced around the room, frowning slightly. Then her eyes met Benjamin’s and she looked away quickly, swallowing hard. Odo seemed attuned to her, and he leaned down to ask her if she was okay. 

She mumbled her response, but Benjamin caught the words Latha Mabrin.

“He’ll be right back,” Ranjen Solbor assured her. “He just went to get the Federation witness, Chief O’Brien.” There was a question in his voice.

“I know him,” Kira answered him. “The chief is an honorable man.” The clerics and ministers seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief at her words, smiling at Kira.

Sisko watched them. Their expressions were paternal, their smiles warm as they led Kira to the dais. Odo harrumphed quietly, keeping his place as Kira’s side. She was gripping his arm tighter now.

Sisko shifted his weight, feeling uncomfortably like the bad guy in this strange scenario. The truth was he almost felt fatherly towards the young woman too, especially now, her eyes panic stricken, her posture tense. She was wearing a militia uniform he noted, this one with a grey-blue tunic in a style most likely equivalent to a dress uniform. It was reassuring that she hadn’t been pressed into some weird ceremonial garb.

“Nerys.” A man’s voice, soft and reverent, announced Latha’s return. Miles O’Brien was trailing him, gazing around at the shrine. Presumably his first time in the temple, Sisko surmised. 

Kira turned to the prylar and her face broke into a relieved smile. “Mabrin!” She let go of Odo and embraced Prylar Latha.

“You okay?” he muttered.

She nodded immediately. “It’s so good to see you.”

He held her for a beat until she pulled back, her smile turned somewhat sheepish. He brushed her hair back, and traced a thumb over her cheekbone, a fond smile on his lips. “Let’s get you betrothed…unless you are having second thoughts?”

“None.” She shook her head firmly and grasped his hands in hers, pumping them.

The knot of tension in Benjamin’s chest loosened slightly to hear the resolution in her voice—and the fact that they were clearly taking her opinion into account instead of railroading her into this. Or at least Prylar Latha was.

“It is the will of the prophets,” Vedek Solis intoned, smiling at Kira gently. 

She dropped Latha’s hands and bowed her head. “Yes, vedek.”

“Are you ready, my child?” The kindness in his voice filled Sisko with gladness. They clearly all cared for Kira – surely a people like this would have her best interests at heart? He was glad that the Bajorans attending this ceremony were clearly not from the contingent of the provisional government she mentioned not seeing eye to eye with.

“I am.”

The monks and ministers shuffled their semi-circle around the dais as a slightly baffled looking O’Brien was ushered to Sisko’s side. He raised an eyebrow at Sisko, who could only shrug. “Thanks for coming chief, sorry to pull you away from your duties.”

“That’s all right, sir. Do you need me to do anything?”

“Just be here, I think.” 

Vedek Solis nodded in affirmation. “Thank you everyone, for gathering here today, to witness the historic introduction of a bride to her groom – an event that by the rite of _b__uraya__ mish ekan’no shakala’an_ represents a union far beyond this woman and this man. We place her under his protection as a sacred symbol of Bajor becoming a protectorate of the Federation.”

He paused as Sisko and O’Brien exchanged a look. Their universal translators had stuttered somewhere in the middle of the speech, filling in “to have to do blessed”. O’Brien lifted his shoulders, as baffled as Sisko himself.

“Your translators won’t be able to process everything,” Minister Avesta spoke up. “These rites borrow phrasing from ancient Bajoran.”

“We’ll do the best we can,” Sisko responded gamely.

There was a pause as the Vedek looked at Sisko expectantly. Right, this was his one scripted phrase.

“As the Federation representative we welcome this union and I do hereby formally ask the bride to accept me as her groom,” he recited dutifully, trying again to catch Kira’s eye, but she stared determinedly straight ahead, her hand clutching Odo’s arm again.

“And Bride of Bajor, do you consent to be the vessel of our people, to secure their safety by giving yourself to this man in sacred matrimony?”

“Yes.” Her response was clipped.

Latha gave her an encouraging smile but she focused exclusively on the vedek, who had reverted to ancient Bajoran. Sisko picked up when the translator deciphered “we will do gladly” from _ekan’va mish impadre _ and “they must two one” from _akares’ ti tah, _ something unintelligible then repeated invocations to v_oka a Bentel_ – walk with the prophets.

The vedek chanted more garbled phrases. Prylar Latha’s eyes rarely left Kira’s face, as he walked around them, waving around something reminiscent of incense holders Sisko vaguely recognized from a catholic wedding he had attended as a cadet, back on Earth. 

Everything halted then. Sisko had been watching Latha and saw him tense, a frown growing on his features. Beside him Kira shifted uncomfortably, moving slightly closer to Odo.

Vedek Solis switched back into regular Bajoran. “This is the end of the ceremony, the bride and groom traditionally seal the betrothal with a kiss.”

Odo’s eyes narrowed. “This wasn’t in the rehearsal.”

The Vedek spread his hands. “Neither was the groom.”

Sisko rubbed a hand over his face, his eyes falling on O’Brien, in part to avoid looking at Kira and putting her on the spot. 

“In Terran culture we save this bit for the wedding – _after_ the wedding,” O’Brien put in, deliberately casually. He glanced past Sisko at Kira, his face softening. 

“You don’t have any physical demonstration of your bond in a Terran betrothal ceremony?” the vedek asked, surprise evident in his voice.

O’Brien shook his head amiably. “In fact, for some human cultures, the ‘kiss the bride’ bit would be the first physical expression of the change in relationship – and that’s why it had to wait until _after _the marriage.”

Vedek Solis looked concerned. “We would be violating Terran custom if they kissed now?”

O’Brien’s jaw worked and he looked worried he might have overstepped. 

“As the chief said, in _some_ Terran cultures,” Sisko put in smoothly. “Perhaps we can give this part a miss, to be safe.”

It wasn’t a strong argument, as the looks the ministers were exchanging amongst themselves indicated. But Sisko didn’t care. He would be damned if he put his young bride through anything that was making her squirm as much as just this conversation was.

The prylar and ranjen exchanged a look with Vedek Solis. “It’s optional in a Bajoran betrothal ceremony too,” Solis said definitively. “Do I take it then you both agree to skip that part?”

Kira nodded quickly as Sisko intoned, “we agree.” She caught his eyes then, after avoiding his gaze up until now, and offered him a small, uncertain smile.

Benjamin was taken aback – had she really thought he would go through with kissing her when she so clearly looked like it was the last thing in the world she wanted? He managed to smile back reassuringly.

“I hereby announce you officially betrothed,” Solis declared. A smattering of applause went up from the onlookers and Kira bowed her head for a moment. Sisko followed suit.

Evidently satisfied, the ministers and clerics started to disperse. Relieved to feel the tension in the room lifting, Sisko stepped down from the dais and turned to offer Kira’ his hand to help her down. But Latha had gone straight to her side and was enveloping her in a hug. Benjamin watched them for a moment, wondering if despite their age difference there was something between them and that was part of Kira’s obvious reluctance, but from what he could tell their dynamic was just collegial, with a large dose of fatherly protectiveness on Latha’s part.

“How do you think that went, chief?” he murmured to O’Brien, who was still at his side, looking a bit baffled still. 

He shrugged. “Can’t say I have a lot of experience with this sort of thing, sir.”

“Me either,” Sisko muttered.

“Sir, I, uh, left my team of engineers in the middle of trying to retrofit the complete shambles of the docking ring power couplings…”

“Go, chief, I’m sorry to have pulled you away. I must have missed the bit where they wanted a Federation witness, and I do appreciate you stepping in.”

“Aye. They probably wanted a dignitary or something—”

“The way I see it, right now you’re the most important person on this station, Mr. O’Brien.”

He scoffed in reply, but grinned anyway as he bid Sisko goodbye with a brisk and slightly embarrassed “s_ir._”

Sisko turned as a large hand fell on his shoulder. It was Prylar Latha, looking much friendlier now.

“Commander.”

“Prylar.”

Latha shook his hand with warmth. Sisko marveled at the change in the man’s demeanor – was this just in response to him declining kissing his intended? Had they thought him some kind of monster? Out of the corner of his eye he watched Kira, who was still sticking close to Odo, observing the exchange between himself and Latha. 

“You just arrived on the station, commander?”

“Benjamin is fine. And yes, my son and I are just getting settled in.”

“How is he handling the adjustment?”

“It’s…an adjustment. He’s young, he will adapt. I think he will learn a lot here.” Sisko noticed Kira stopped fidgeting once he mentioned his son. Their eyes met and he tried another small smile.

“Does he go by Jacob?” she asked tentatively. So she had been prepped too, he figured.

“Jake, actually. He’s looking forward to meeting you.”

“Jake,” she repeated, her smile more genuine now. “I’m looking forward to meeting him too. We can take him down to visit Bajor, anytime he wants. If he starts going stir crazy on the station, I mean.”

“He would like that,” Benjamin said softly, gratitude welling inside him. She could ignore him their entire marriage if she wanted, as long as she was kind to his son.

She met Latha’s eyes then and they shared a look Sisko couldn’t decipher. Kira appeared almost ashamed, Latha patted her shoulder. 

Solis broke the silence before it could become awkward. “Are you a man of faith, Benjamin?”

Sisko pondered how best to answer that. “Not especially, Solis.” 

“You’ll have to forgive us for how…well, religious this all is,” Latha asserted. There was a question in his eyes. “We have limited experience with off-worlders, but I gather Starfleet doesn’t put much stock in spiritual matters, much like Cardassians.”

Odo harrumped. Sisko had almost forgotten the security chief was still there. He took a breath as he tried to formulate a reply to such a loaded question. “I would like to believe that’s where the comparison ends, prylar.”

Latha’s eyes tracked Sisko’s carefully. “Let’s hope so. For all our sakes.” He turned to Kira. “I have known Nerys a long time,” he added pointedly.

“The vedek mentioned you were in the resistance together.” Sisko decided just to keep pretending they were having a casual conversation.

“The Shakaar cell.” 

“Shakaar?”

Latha and Kira shared a look. He hesitated, but when Kira didn’t speak up, he continued, “Shakaar Edon – the leader of our resistance cell.”

Sisko wondered if Shakaar had perhaps not survived the occupation, but then Vedek Solis joined in. “Edon was not in favor of the state marriage,” he spoke bluntly. “But we have hope he will attend the wedding nonetheless, to support Nerys.” He smiled at her as he spoke.

She snorted. “I wouldn’t bet on it. Anyway, if you don’t mind commander, I was hoping to catch up with Latha.” Her words asked him for permission, but her clipped tone did not.

Sisko inclined his head in acknowledgement. 

Vedek Solis pressed his lips together as Kira and Latha exited the shrine. “My apologies, Commander. Nerys is not yet schooled in the ways of diplomacy.”

Sisko waved a hand. “I am happy to go along with whatever makes this easier on her, vedek.”

Solis eyed him speculatively. “The prophets will reward your kindness to her.” He bowed again then took his leave.

Sisko blew out a breath and turned to Odo. “Is it always like this?”

Odo just harrumphed again.


	3. The Doctor

The next day Sisko found his way to the infirmary – or what passed for one in this rubble-strewn station. He rubbed his hand across his eyes, wishing he could remember the name of that ridiculously young Starfleet doctor they had been assigned so he could ask for some meds for the tension headache that was setting in.

“Commander! How can I help?” The young medic in the science officer’s uniform hoped nimbly over some unnameable detritus on the infirmary floor that could have been medical equipment for all Sisko knew.

Sisko winced, the other man’s cheery tone just a bit too much. “Doctor…I just got into a…” He hesitated, not ready to characterize it as a fight. “…A skirmish with my future wife. And I could use something for a headache.”

“Ah, I see.” The young man nodded sagely (and hadn’t corrected his use of ‘doctor’, so Sisko felt free to assume he at least had the right person – plus he was the only one here in a Starfleet uniform apart from himself). He should have paid more attention when he had met him earlier at the airlock, but his focus had been on seeing his old friend Dax again, and reeling at the change in his—in _her—_appearance.

The doctor turned and began rummaging in a med kit behind him, “And your, uh, intended… is she—”

He didn’t finish the sentence, looking intently at his med scanner, but Sisko got the impression he had burning questions that the readouts wouldn’t answer.

He sighed. “Just spit it out, lieutenant. I’ve already heard it all from Dax, yes, she’s beautiful, yes, this is outside normal Federation protocol, yes, this is nonetheless a direct order from Starfleet command to comply with sector cultural norms, the highest ranking unattached Bajoran female from the provisional government – or what substitutes for one anyway – and the ranking Starfleet officer in a position to take a wife. It’s as above board as anything this antiquated can be I suppose—does that satisfy your curiosity, young man?”

The doctor was staring at him, eyes wide. “Actually, that wasn’t what I was going to say,” he replied quietly, busying himself with a hypospray. Sisko regarded him, focused on his work, no blush belying any salacious interest at all, just a small perturbed frown – probably at such an outburst from his commander.

He sighed. “I apologize. It has been a very long couple of days, and truth be told, between you and me, I lost my wife Jennifer three years ago, but it still feels like yesterday, and this whole thing is a touchy subject for me. And judging from the young Bajoran resistance fighter I met yesterday in ops—and seem to have done nothing but offend and alienate since then—being married off to a stranger is a touchy subject for her too.”

He closed his eyes in relief when the hypospray hissed against his neck, and murmured his thanks.

“Just give it a moment, but I made a fast-acting formula, should be right as rain any second now.”

The young man was true to his word; Sisko felt his head clear.

“Commander?”

“Yes, doctor.”

“It has really gone that badly? With the major?”

Sisko grunted. “Well, I think she appreciated my not kissing her at the engagement ceremony. That’s the one thing I think I did right. Or didn’t do, I suppose.”

“Oh.”

“Doctor?”

He nodded. “Yes, sir?”

“What _were_ you going to ask? About my…about Major Kira?”

“Just if she was all right, how she was handling it – meeting you. When I met her earlier she seemed a little…”

“Prickly?”

He inclined his head in acknowledgement. “And…if I may, sir, terrified.”

Sisko sucked in a breath, closing his eyes and rubbing a hand across them, his stomach dropping again. “Any other insights?” he asked gruffly, not really expecting a reply.

There was silence and he made to leave when the lieutenant spoke up, tentatively. “I do have one thought, sir – actually you said it yourself. She’s _young.”_

The was more weight to the doctor’s words than Sisko would have expected, so he just waited, watching him.

“Twenty-six is not too young to marry by Earth standards but they were making such a fuss about it when I was reading up on the negotiations that I asked my Bajoran medical staff, and I have been told the youngest any Bajoran woman marries usually is thirty, not before. Major Kira was far from their first choice for that reason alone, but other more senior militia females were either already attached to a mate or refused for other reasons. You aren’t alone in finding this a primitive tradition.”

“I gather Kira wanted to refuse at first too, but some high priestess or something railroaded her into it.”

“Mmm, that will be Vedek Winn. Quite a force to be reckoned with, according to my nurses.”

“Told her it was her path of destiny or some such hokum…They said thirty?” Sisko echoed.

“Her pagh,” the doctor corrected.

“What?”

“Pagh, not path, sir. And it’s kind of like a belief in predestination, I think, I’m still trying to understand it myself.”

Sisko shook himself dismissively. The younger man hurriedly refocused back on the conversation at hand.

“So, the reason I bring up her age is that one option could be to just get _engaged _now, and then let things play out, let you two get to know each other and see how it goes, citing your wish to respect Bajoran norms for marriage and not push a young bride into anything she’s not ready for.”

Sisko straightened. “And in the meantime, spare anyone else – bride _or_ groom – from being put in this position, but without rejecting the arranged marriage. Lieutenant, you may just be on to something.”

The doctor gave him a thin smile, and Sisko saw kindness and understanding in his eyes that belied his youthful appearance.

“Doctor, if I may ask, what exactly did you and her talk about that gave you the impression that she was…” He couldn’t countenance the idea that she was_ terrified_, “…uncomfortable with the idea of the arranged marriage?”

Bashir rocked back on his heels and lifted his eyebrows. “Well, to be honest sir, I was actually hoping to relay information that would have the opposite effect: to allay any discomfort she might have at the idea of an alien medical exam by telling her she could opt to have it with a female Bajoran medic—especially if we can wait until some of them get formal training, they didn’t exactly have medical schools during the occupation—or as far as I was concerned I would sign off without anything invasive at all but—”

Sisko held up a hand. “Wait, what are you talking about?”

The lieutenant sighed. “Yes, she was apparently not yet briefed on that requirement at all either, sir.”

“What requirement?”

“I received official communiques from the vedek council to take on the role of examiner for an archaic—and if I may, downright _unsavory_ practice—that I believe was quite common when primitive human societies set up arranged marriages.”

Sisko’s mood darkened even further. “A medical examination of the bride?”

The doctor nodded unhappily, his whole demeanor much more serious now, and for the first time Sisko could see a glimpse of how this young man actually did have the bearing and presence be a very good Chief Medical Officer.

“But thankfully, sir, when I suggested they skip it, they said they effectively were skipping it, and they liked my idea to just run a simple crew physical and provide them a very general report on the feasibility of Human-Bajoran interspecies mating.”

Sisko squirmed, and did his best not to let his face reveal his own discomfort with this whole conversation. The doctor was still talking—something he was quite good at apparently.

“…but they wanted some stamp of approval on the bride and groom working out, and I thought maybe Kira was tense around me because of that and I wanted to assure her I have no intention of any such invasive anything, I would leave it up to her how to handle it, but…I think bringing the subject up at all was a mistake.”

Sisko nodded.

The doctor was still talking. “The vedeks also brought up was it even feasible given her young age, would she have problems if she was to get pregnant with a half-human child, could I advise contraception until she was mature enough and that got me thinking about delay tactics.”

Sisko gulped and closed his eyes. “Well, let’s focus on that, shall we? Delay.” He straightened his uniform jacket. “She’s only twenty-six, Major Kira?”

The doctor nodded, his eyes hooded.

Sisko continued, “And as she herself says, the provisional government may not even last the week, maybe all she and I need to do is buy some time.”


	4. Anthropology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretending their arranged marriage isn't happening leads to problems when Kira isn't wearing an engagement ring.

Commander Sisko had just been about to call it a night when his first officer stormed into his office without bothering to knock.

“I need a ring.” Her words tumbled out before the door had fully slid closed behind her.

He blinked. “Good evening to you too, Major. A ring…oh, okay, an engagement ring?”

He glanced about, trying to summon his thoughts. “Did you have any particular style in mind? Or, I don’t know, gold or silver, or what do Bajorans…do Bajorans even have wedding rings?”

Her voice cut through his musings before he could finish that thought.

“I don’t care what style or color or whatever.”

He stared at her in surprise, only now beginning to register how flustered she looked, color high in her cheeks.

“Sir,” she added belatedly.

“Are you all right, Nerys?” Her given name still sounded forced to his own ears, but if he was ever going to get her to stop calling him sir he needed to set the example.

“Apparently not all Starfleet personnel have been briefed as to our…arrangement, sir.”

Her voice sounded even more strained than usual and he frowned. “Major?”

“I welcomed the relief delegation from the USS Constellation tonight as you asked, as the Bajoran representative.” She folded her arms in front of her, then seemed to think better of it and dropped them to her sides, her back ramrod straight.

He looked at her closely. Her voice was actually slightly shaky and she was steadfastly focused on a spot above his shoulder rather than meeting his eyes. He leaned forward in his chair, concerned now.

“Yes, I am sorry their docking time was so late on our schedule, I hope you don’t mind…”

“They wanted to go to Quark’s.” She cut him off.

Sisko’s sense of alarm was growing. “Something happened, Major? With the delegation?”

Her eyes flitted to his then away again. “You asked me to stay with them, sir, to make sure they made it to guest quarters.”

He nodded. She was using “sir” with almost every sentence and he thought they were beginning to move past this; something was very wrong.

She swallowed. “But a couple of the younger lieutenants, they just wanted to drink.”

It felt like the air had gone out of the room. Automatically Sisko’s eyes scanned her for injuries, dread growing in the pit of his stomach.

“And one of them…he tried…well, that is, he…” she broke off and made a frustrated noise.

Sisko rose to his feet, his fists clenching, ready to march down to Quark’s right now and throw the young man in question in the brig himself.

At his sudden movement Kira’s eyes snapped to his fists and she stepped back.

“Were you alone?” He came around from behind his desk.

Her mouth opened to reply but her eyes were tracking his movements, and belatedly he realized he was making her nervous. He halted, but not before she had backed up almost all the way to the door.

“Nerys…did he hurt you?” Benjamin tried his best to kept his voice even.

She shook her head. “He wasn’t trying to hurt me, sir, he just wanted…it’s over now.”

Sisko forced himself to take a breath, surprised at the strength of the emotions coursing through him. She may not be Jennifer but she was still going to be his wife; he would be damned if he would let anyone under his protection be subject to unwanted attention from some drunk delegate.

“I will speak to his commanding officer and he will be sent straight from the brig back to Starfleet HQ. They can deal with him—”

She held up a hand, her eyes wide. “Um, he’s not locked up. It wasn’t…he didn’t hurt me. It was just a misunderstanding.”

He cocked his head. “Where is he?” His protective instincts kicked in again and he resolved not to let Kira out of his sight if this drunken fool was still at large on the station.

She swallowed and dropped her eyes. “The infirmary.”

Sisko rocked back on his heels, a wave of relief and something like pride washing over him. He had to run a hand over his face just to cover the beginnings of what was probably a highly inappropriate smile.

Kira fidgeted. “I, uh, might have broken his arm. A little. It’s probably not actually broken. Odo took him over to Dr. Bashir.”

“The doctor is still awake this time of night?”

She shrugged slightly, avoiding his eyes. “He is now.”

Sisko sighed, slowly realizing the stir this incident must have caused, his fiancée being hit on by someone else. He gestured towards the visitor chair. “Please, Nerys, will you have a seat?”

He waited until she sat down then he forced himself to sit down too, even though every instinct in him wanted to head straight down to the bar and punch someone.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

She swallowed. “At first, I thought he was being friendly—I just, I mean everyone in the Bajoran militia at that level knows about this…arrangement.” She broke off and gestured between them.

Sisko nodded.

“I guess I just assumed a Starfleet delegation…” She shook her head. “So, I didn’t know he wanted…he got too close, he…” she broke off and looked at Sisko, who nodded again reassuringly, wishing Jadzia or someone was here.

“It’s all right, go on,” he said softly.

“I kept moving away from him, he put his hand on my arm, I think he was going to kiss me. I told him to back off, at least I think he heard me, but it was loud, and I just…I know it sounds stupid but I just thought everyone in Starfleet would know.” She touched her earring subconsciously. “But afterwards, Chief O’Brien said humans use rings.”

Sisko closed his eyes for a moment. “Back up, Major, you lost me.”

“To indicate that you are betrothed or married. A Bajoran can tell by the additions to our earrings—or if you’re part of the religious order they’ll be more elaborate—the vedeks made this second chain to signify my betrothal to you when I agreed to the arrangement.” She touched her earring again. “It’s heavier now.”

“And humans use rings. Okay, well, let’s get you one.” He picked up a PADD and scanned through to see if there was a program he could use to approximate her finger size.

He reached for her hand, focused on his task, then froze when she pulled back from his touch.

“Easy,” he intoned, his voice gruff and low, more upset that he had startled her than he was willing to admit to himself.

Not surprisingly, his attempt to set her at ease had served only as an admonishment to stay still, which she obeyed, but now she looked ready to jump out of her skin as he approached her again.

He sighed, inwardly kicking himself, and tried for a gentler tone. “I’m just scanning you for ring size, I won’t actually touch you this time, I apologize if I scared you.”

She nodded curtly. “I’m sorry,” she said, lifting her hand and then dropping it in her lap as if frustrated with herself.

He paused, and set the PADD down on his desk. “Whatever for?”

“For what happened tonight. Are you angry?”

“No! Oh Kira, no, of course not, not at you. Can you tell me what happened after he tried to kiss you?”

“I hit him with my elbow as I twisted free, using the arm he was holding, then he was on the ground, and Chief O’Brien was there—he said he saw everything and he seemed to think that I did the right thing, a bunch of other people did too, if you need witnesses.”

He just stared at her, confused. “Why would I need witnesses?”

She swallowed and pressed her lips together. “The vedeks…when they prepared me for how it would be – marriage in human culture, they said with you being generally monogamous that it’s really important for a female to ‘ward off’ male touch. They said human males get enraged unless a human female ‘spurns advances’ from other males.”

Sisko blinked a few times. “They even had you memorize anthropology terminology, huh?” He dropped his head onto his hand, pushing his palm against his forehead. This wasn’t the first time she had mentioned the vedeks and their so-called preparation. He wondered if it would be worth probing to find out if there were other ways in which their advice had done little more than put this young woman on edge around him. (Although truth be told he was doing a fine job of that all on his own.)

He lifted his head and looked at her. “Nerys, I would never…first of all, I’m not angry—not at you. But even if you had violated some norm in my culture that is different on Bajor, you needn’t fear me.”

She didn’t react to that, just kept perfectly still, watching him warily.

Sisko pinched the bridge of his nose. “We disagree all the time about station business, right?”

She nodded. “It’s different when people are married though.”

“Maybe on Bajor?” he prompted, wondering if he should be researching Bajoran marriage as much as her vedeks had apparently researched human traditions.

“In this sector…well, men don’t react well to things like this.”

Still feeling like he was missing something—or a lot of somethings. “I don’t know how it works in Bajoran society, but as the wife, or even as the fiancée of a federation citizen you are legally protected from domestic violence,” he ventured.

She looked at him blankly, nothing about her defensive posture softening. He sighed inwardly, why was he so bad at this? Jennifer had never been afraid of him.

“I mean, it’s illegal for a man to hurt his wife in the federation—do you understand?”

She slowly nodded, but the hesitation in her eyes remained.

He forced himself to relax his posture, to lean back in his chair and stop staring directly at her. Internally he was kicking himself, she had come to him guns blazing and once again he had failed to see her anger as anything more than that, he had failed to pick up the underlying fear – of what? That he would be angry at her because some inebriated suit from the Federation had been too forward with her?

He was failing spectacularly at getting her to be less wary of him, much less gaining her trust. He could already hear the lecture he was going to get from Dax. _Couldn’t you at least try to get to know her Benjamin? Geez, you’d think you’d never chatted up a woman before!_

Women, yes. Girls almost half his age fresh out of a warzone raised in terror for her life at every turn and now forced into an arranged marriage with an alien from the other side of the galaxy when all she had ever known of aliens was rapists and murderers?

He closed his eyes, pained.

“Tell me about your parents,” he tried.

There was a long silence. He supposed it had been something of a left-field question. Just when he thought she was going to refuse to answer him, she spoke, haltingly.

“My father never hurt my mother. They…he loved her very much.”

“Oh.” He blinked. That hadn’t been quite what he meant but he could see how she had come to that conclusion. “What were their names?” he asked gently.

“Taban and Meru.”

She didn’t elaborate as to which was which and Sisko hasn’t the heart to point out that he didn’t know Bajoran names well enough to know which went with what gender.

She shifted in her seat. “Bajoran men…that was rare. I never knew anyone who did...a Bajoran who hurt their wife, I mean. And if he did someone would step in – a benefit I guess of non-monogamy, most families are in polycules, that is, households with multiple adults, not just one husband and one wife.”

She didn’t need to go on. If she hadn’t learned her flinch response from her upbringing among Bajorans that left only the Cardassians, and he didn’t think either of them wanted to talk about them right now.

She took a halting breath. “You loved your wife.” Her voice was even more tentative now.

He looked at her, surprised by the question. “Yes. Very much.” He swallowed. _Just be honest with her. _Dax’s voice rang clear in his head. “Nerys, I…I never stopped loving her, even though she has been gone for years now.” Part of him hated the weak whispery fade in his throat.

“I know,” she whispered back.

“The prophets…they told me I _existed_ there. Back on the ship where she died. Where I left her.” He wasn’t sure why he was telling her this but the warmth and compassion in her eyes encouraged him. It also helped that unlike all his Starfleet staff, Kira didn’t look remotely skeptical at the idea of the Prophets talking to him.

“Even if I hadn’t though, if we had somehow fallen out of love,” he tried, clearing his throat. “Nerys, I never hurt Jennifer. I would not have raised a hand to her – we argued, yes, but I never gave her any reason to be afraid of me.”

He passed a hand over his eyes. “And I don’t want to ever hurt you. I am sorry if I scared you just now, it was not intentional.”

She pressed her lips together and nodded once, but she at least didn’t seem so jumpy, and Sisko decided he would take what he could get.

He set the PADD on his desk. “I don’t think this thing will scan for ring size as well as a medical tricorder, how about we go down to the infirmary and see if we can find one?” _And in the process get out of this room and around other people to make you feel more comfortable,_ he didn’t add.


	5. The Consort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Late night conversation and a trip to the infirmary.

The promenade was nearly deserted this time of night. It could have almost been a nice walk if not for the persistent feeling that the woman at his side wanted to be anywhere else. Well, he had only himself to blame for not taking the time to get to know it her – it just seemed that since he had arrived on the station it had been one crisis after another.

“Kira, if I may ask, what have the vedeks taught you about human marriage customs?”

Her eyes voluminous in the low lighting of the night shift, Kira nodded, but she only answered his question with one of her own. “Is it inaccurate? Do human men not get possessive and jealous?”

He scrunched up his face. “Unfortunately yes, that part would seem to be mostly universal – but the notion of expecting a woman to not ever let another man touch her…well, I have to admit it was part of human history for a long time I suppose, but in recent times it is more progressive. And we definitely wouldn’t assume the woman was to blame for a man’s unwanted attentions—at least not anymore.”

She nodded once more and they walked on in silence until he prompted her again. “Is it much different on Bajor?”

Her mouth worked and she stared straight ahead. “To tell you the truth commander, until a few weeks ago I didn’t even know where my next meal would come from, or if my friends and I would survive the next raid. A lot of them didn’t. Whatever was normal for Bajor has not been normal for a very long time.”

Sisko’s eyebrows drew down at the thought of her going without food and he wondered if she would let him cook for her some night. For some reason, his station commander quarters contained a kitchen big enough to cook for several dinner parties at once if he was of a mind to. Sisko wanted to ask her so much more but they had reached the infirmary. 

He was surprised to find Dr. Bashir still awake. There was definitely more of a buzz of activity on the promenade than was usual for this time of night. He had already grown accustomed to the curious glances from the Bajoran residents—it had been bad enough when he first showed up and heard the many whispers about the Federation ‘consort’ who was to marry their highest ranking officer; since the Kai had named him Emissary it had only gotten worse. 

The young doctor met them at the door to the infirmary when Kira hesitated there.

“Major Kira, Commander Sisko, thanks for coming down. I was just going to check in with you actually.”

At Sisko’s raised eyebrow, Julian continued, “I just wanted to make sure the major is uninjured.”

Sisko couldn’t suppress a scowl as his mind turned to her assailant. “Where is the man who tried to assault her?”

His eyes widening slightly at his commander’s gruff tone, Julian inclined his head in the direction of the Chief of Security’s office. “Odo escorted him to his quarters, and placed an alert on his door so that if he leaves security will be made aware.” 

He turned to Kira, his eyes softening and his voice lowering a little. “Major, Odo said if you or the commander decide to press charges, just to let him know, otherwise he can assign a security detail to follow the delegation while they are here, if you wish.”

Kira was shaking her head. Before Sisko could answer the doctor, she spoke up. “Is he all right?”

One side of Julian’s mouth quirked up. “He is now. Just a bruised ego is all he was left with after I fixed his arm. He was very sorry for the misunderstanding, and asked to make a formal apology.”

Sisko bristled, and Julian continued hurriedly, “I told him better wait until morning.”

“The major is not to be approached by anyone regarding this incident without me there,” Sisko broke in.

Julian glanced between the two of them. “Yes sir, I will make sure that message reaches them.” He turned to his medical instruments and lifted a tricorder. “Nerys?”

“I’m fine, Julian.”

Sisko tried to hide his chagrin that apparently his Chief Medical Officer and future wife were on a first name basis while she was still calling him ‘sir’.

“Humor me?” Julian gave her a goofy smile, and beside him, Kira broke into a grin. It took Sisko’s breath away—she was even more beautiful when she smiled, so completely without reservation or artifice. He only wished she would smile at him like that. 

He stepped back and quietly observed the two of them together, as Kira good-naturedly endured the doctor’s scans. He never once touched her, or even came close, Sisko noted, but his bedside manner had put her at ease almost immediately. Perhaps it was because Bashir wasn’t her superior officer, or because he was only a couple of years older than her—or just his boyish manner that allowed her to let her guard down. Regardless, it might perhaps be a good idea to include the young lieutenant more in the future for the difficult steps ahead as the wedding approached. He was surprisingly adept at getting Nerys to relax.

Belatedly he remembered what they had come here for. “Doctor, it has been brought to our attention that it may help avert future incidents if the major had an engagement ring.”

“Oh. Don’t Bajorans use betrothal bracelets?”

Sisko blinked, he had never heard of those.

Kira spoke up. “There isn’t a Bajoran in the militia, the government, or living on the station, who doesn’t know I’m engaged. It’s everyone else that Chief O’Brien said would understand the ring.”

“Ah,” Bashir nodded.

“So we just need the major’s ring size,” Sisko prompted.

“Right.” Julian thought for a moment and then checked his records. “I can cross-reference from her crew physical and send it to you.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

Bashir nodded. “I’m all done here.”

Sisko turned to his fiancée. “Can I walk you home, Nerys?”

In an instant, her entire demeanor changed. Her posture tensed and an emotion he couldn’t identify flitted across her features.

“That won’t be necessary, sir.” She seemed to be trying to speak lightly, but even her voice was on edge all of a sudden.

His forehead creased in consternation, hating the thought that being alone with him en route to her quarters unsettled her. He inclined his head simply bid her a good night.

He turned to Bashir once Kira had beat a hasty retreat from the infirmary. “You sure that ensign’s quarters are being monitored?”

His face serious now, the doctor nodded. “I took the liberty of monitoring his vitals.” He nodded in the direction of one of the read-out screens. “He’s fast asleep, and when he wakes, I will know about it.”

Sisko’s eyebrows rose.

Bashir leaned back on a bio bed. “The safety and welfare of everyone on this station is my responsibility, sir. When someone assaults a member of the senior staff I will do everything in my power to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

Sisko rubbed his chin thoughtfully. There was so much more to this young man than he had first thought; his bright intelligence shone in his eyes as the two men regarded each other. “So it’s not that you don’t trust our non-Starfleet Chief of Security?”

Julian lifted his shoulders in response. “Odo seems extremely competent, and a he’s a nice fellow when you get to know him, but we haven’t even been here a month, commander. He seems devoted to Major Kira though, and I do know she trusts him, implicitly.”

“She’s a good judge of character.”

“Yes, she is.” 

Bashir spoke as if it was an obvious observation, but to Sisko had only realized it was true as he said the words. In truth, he was still holding himself distant from his intended, even keeping her out of his thoughts as much as possible when he wasn’t with her, lest he…what? _Betray Jennifer,_ a voice inside his head supplied immediately.

He exhaled deeply. 

“Everything all right, sir?”

He shook his head. “Fine, thanks doctor.” For a moment he contemplated asking Bashir if he would see if he could find out any more about what the vedeks told Kira about human marriage customs, but then he rejected the idea. It was up to him to get to know her better on his own.

“Commander, can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.” He was lost in thought but Bashir’s next words brought him up short.

“This emissary thing—it changes things between you?”

Sisko ran a hand over his face. “Is that a question or a statement, lieutenant?”

Bashir hesitated, but then charged ahead anyway. “It’s just, now you are seen as a sacred figure in Kira’s religion, the balance of power in your relationship…well, I mean, you were always her superior officer too, so, it’s just…a different kind of imbalance.” He shifted his weight from one foot to another. “I heard it’s giving Starfleet pause about going through with the wedding.”

Sisko sighed. The doctor was right, and as much as he admired the young man for speaking up when his commanding officer clearly didn’t want to hear it, he didn’t have a good answer for him. “Truth be told, Julian, it gives me pause too. _More _pause.”

He wished the doctor a good night, and ignored the young man’s concerned expression as he strode off. Once he was out of earshot he queried the computer as to Kira’s whereabouts and if she was alone. Satisfied that she was safe in her quarters (and telling himself the vedeks _were_ wrong and he wasn’t being possessive or jealous, just concerned) Sisko resolved to make more of an effort to get closer to Nerys, and perhaps make her smile at him the way she apparently did with his junior staff.


	6. Not Just Dinner

“You sure it fits?” Sisko nodded to the ring on her left hand. Kira hadn’t stopped twisting it back and forth the whole long diplomatic meeting with the Bajoran council of ministers representatives. Now their visitors were enjoying a meal at Quarks, ably entertained by the rest of the senior staff, and he and Nerys were sitting off to the side, enjoying a rare moment when they were more or less alone.

“Oh, yes, it fits fine.” She dropped her hands under the table. “Julian’s measurements were spot on.”

“You and Julian seem to have gotten to know each other well,” he said casually.

“The doctor? I don’t know about _well_,” she shrugged. “I didn’t think I could stand him at first, but I guess I like him.”

“Can I ask why?” he said lightly.

She sat back. “He completely ignored me when he first arrived, literally tripping over his own feet to pursue Jadzia. And when you took her away and he was required to be shown around by me, he mostly just talked about her. It was refreshingly guileless. And frankly,” she paused to glance up at him, “it was a relief to be ignored when people haven’t stopped staring at me since I was named the intended bride.” She twisted the engagement ring again, around and around. The skin on her finger was reddened.

Sisko nodded sympathetically as she continued, casting another glance his way. “And I guess I have always been more comfortable being that friend that my guy-friends would come talk to about their undying love for someone in our cell.”

At his blank look she clarified, “Resistance cell, I mean. Being under fire every day gets your blood flowing, it can be confusing when things get heated.” She trailed off and took a breath, glancing at him with uncertainty in her eyes.

“Go on,” he murmured, giving her his full attention. She didn’t usually speak so openly and he sensed she was making an effort.

“Well… you are in fear for your life, then it’s dark and quiet and no one wants to be alone. When you’re alone you think too much, about if we’ll eat, or live through the next day, or even make it through the night sometimes. Or you think about those who didn’t make it.”

She shook herself slightly. “Then when Julian did start talking to me, it was about him, this ramble about being on the edge of wilderness, and _frontier medicine_, and becoming a hero. It annoyed me at the time and I gave him a heck of an earful, got right in his face too.” She give him a chagrinned half-smile, which he returned. “But he…he apologized, he listened. And he didn’t do it again—at least in my hearing.”

“You got in his face?” Sisko was surprised by how much this revelation made him melancholy. If he was here only in his capacity as a Starfleet commander would she get in his face too when they had heated arguments? He rarely saw that side of her, she was so buttoned-up around him all the time, if not downright nervous.

She nodded. “And I guess with Julian’s obsession with Jadzia, well, I feel safe he’s not about to declare any interest in me, and not just because I’m betrothed to his commanding officer.” She ducked her head as if embarrassed.

_Jadzia, another member of the senior staff on which she was on first name terms._

“Nerys, it would mean a lot to me if you would call me Benjamin.”

Her eyes went round, and he held up a hand. “It’s not an order, nor a complaint. It’s up to you, it would just make me happy.”

“Also, _Benjamin_…” She tried it out tentatively, and he smiled at her encouragingly. “I was pretty rude and difficult the first couple of times I had to go to the infirmary for medical help, and Julian, he just let it run right off his back like it was nothing. His empathy as a doctor comes so naturally to him. For me, well, you can’t have failed to notice, I’m all rough edges and shouting-” 

She broke off and twisted her lips in another self-conscious moue. “Not what any man is looking for in a wife. Anyway, Bashir, he let me shout at him, and push away his help, and just waited until I spent myself, watching me the whole time to work out the nature of my injury, then he just produced the hypospray and a tourniquet and talked me through applying them myself, making no fuss about it.”

“You don’t want him to touch you?”

She gave him a black look and twisted the ring on her finger again. “I don’t want any alien touching me ever again,” she mumbled, and then slammed her mouth closed.

“I’m not sure I caught that?” He had heard every word, but she looked so stricken he felt he had to give her an out.

“Never mind.” Her cheeks were aflame. “I have to go uh,” She scrambled to her feet, and had made it halfway across the room in the direction of the rest of the senior staff before Sisko caught up with her.

“Wait, Nerys, I want to ask you something. Will you have dinner with me tonight?”

She went stock still. 

“Nerys?”

“Here?”

“I was thinking my quarters, I could cook for you, if you like.”

The alarm in her face only grew and for a moment she appeared frozen. Running a hand over his head, Sisko was at a complete loss. He had thought their conversation had been going well.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Dax slide from her seat and approach them.

“It’s just dinner, Major.” He tried to keep the bitterness from his tone. “In your culture you’re required to assure peace for your people by marrying someone off to whoever helps liberate your planet from an occupation.” He paused, he had been trying for levity but the words left a sour taste in his mouth. “In my culture you’re required to at least cook a girl a meal before you become man and wife.”

She stared at him, wide-eyed.

Jadzia leaned in. “He’s kidding, Nerys. He just wants to show off his culinary skills. And you really should say yes, the man can cook a mean shrimp creole!”

Still watching Sisko warily, Kira turned slightly in Jadzia’s direction. “The commander cooked for you?”

Dax smiled brightly. “And he didn’t even propose! Granted I was a grizzly old man at the time though. Hey Julian,” she turned to the young doctor who was doing a terrible job of pretending he wasn’t listening in on their exchange now they were practically standing beside his table.

“Hmm?” Julian perked up immediately, practically bouncing up to join them. He nodded at them in greeting. “Commander. Nerys.”

Sisko watched as Kira smiled up at him, the first truly genuine smile he had seen all morning. He cleared his throat.

“Doctor, I believe Lieutenant Dax is about to invite herself and you to join Major Kira and I for dinner tonight.”

Ignoring Jadzia’s feigned gasp, Sisko continued smoothly. “You would both be most welcome of course. Nineteen hundred hours, my quarters.”

Dax nudged Bashir with a pointed elbow. “I don’t know about you, Julian, but I’m starving! I could go a home cooked meal. When was the last time you had a home cooked meal anyway?”

“I, um, well, if you are sure we wouldn’t be intruding?”

“How nice to see some Starfleet officers showing such polite manners.” Sisko gave a wolfish grin at Dax and tipped her a wink. “What do you think, Nerys, should we let them crash our dinner for two?”

“Oh, um,” she inclined her head, casting a sideways glance at Jadzia.

“He’s not actually upset,” Dax stage-whispered, a teasing eyebrow quirking at Sisko. “The more mouths to feed the greater the challenge. And his dad the chef would not let him hear the end of it turning away hungry underlings.” She smirked as Sisko snorted.

Kira smiled at them both then made some excuse about getting ready, and ducked out of the conversation. Dax and Sisko watched as Bashir hurried after her, offering to walk her back to her quarters.

“You’re not, are you, Benjamin? Actually upset?”

“Old man, that was the first genuine smile she has given me possibly ever. No, it’s fine. The more the merrier. Maybe I can take the opportunity to learn what our young, eager doctor has that I don’t.”

Jadzia’s eyebrows all but disappeared into her hairline. “Julian? They’re just friends, Benjamin.”

“Oh, I know, that’s my point. She relaxes when you and he are around, and I think she’s warming to Chief O’Brien too.”

“Mmm, definitely Keiko anyway.”

Sisko turned towards her. “Mrs. O’Brien?”

Dax nodded. “Seems they have formed a friendship, can’t imagine how, maybe Kira has a secret love for botany or something.”

Sisko grunted. “Maybe they just bonded over how much neither of them wants to be here and it’s all their husband’s – or future husband’s – fault.”

“Hmm, you may be onto something there.” She tilted her head and grinned cheerfully at the commander’s glum expression. “Oh, cheer up Benjamin. I’m inviting the O’Briens, so now you have no time left to brood. I’ll see our guests to their runabout, you need to go prep those veggies!”

Dax all but skipped away. Sisko leaned on a railing and furrowed his brow, pointedly ignoring the stares they had garnered from the council of ministers. So much for a quiet romantic evening, but maybe it was better this way, at least to start with – to let Kira have her friends and coworkers around if that made her comfortable. They could just do dinner alone another time.


	7. Metallurgy

“I don’t need an escort to my quarters, doctor.”

“I know,” Julian replied amiably. “How long has the ring been bothering you?”

She stopped in her tracks. “It’s not. It’s fine.”

“It’s not making your finger itch and turning your skin red?” He held out his hand in the hope she would let him examine her, but she shook her head once, her eyes darting around the promenade. Right. Always watchful in case anyone would see her allow another man to touch the Emissary’s bride. Julian pressed his lips together in sympathy.

“Do you mind if we stop by the infirmary for a moment? I can run a quick scan, if it’s something simple like an allergic reaction we can fix it quickly.”

Her shoulders sagged slightly and she gave a small nod.

“Nickel!” he exclaimed. “Huh, must be an actual antique ring, to have nickel mixed with the gold.” He held it up to the light in the infirmary while Kira watched him, poised on the edge of a biobed.

Kira stilled. “It actually IS an allergy?”

“Yes. But not to worry. We can line the ring with an ultra-dense microlayer of titanium or something with the replicator, then it won’t bother you anymore. Or maybe Chief O’Brien knows of some way to extract the nickel.”

She looked at her hand. “I thought I was imagining it.”

“Nope. And with the phospholipid layers in Bajoran cutaneous membranes being slightly more permeable than in humans, that must have been really bothering you. Here, let me get rid of that redness and get you a hypo with some localized diphenhydramine – it will clear that right up.”

“I thought…” she trailed off and shook her head, allowing him to treat her finger. 

“Thanks,” she murmured, sliding down from the biobed.

“You thought it was psychosomatic?”

Her lips twisted and she looked away. “Something like that. Can you not mention this to the commander?”

He sobered instantly. “Nerys, married or not, your medical care is your business. You can come to me—or anyone here in the infirmary—at any time with any problem, and it will be completely confidential if that’s what you wish.”

Her eyes fixed on his, and she wrung her right hand over her newly ring-less left hand. “Thank you.”

He inclined his head and held up the ring. “I’ll make sure to have this fixed before dinner tonight.”

“I would appreciate that,” she said softly.

They bid each other a good afternoon, and he watched her go, feeling a tugging in his chest to think of her trying to ignore a nickel allergy as just a manifestation of her obvious discomfort with being engaged.

Her grateful smile greeted him a few hours later when he showed up at her quarters, a freshly-milled wedding ring hidden in his palm. 

“Thank you doctor,” she said, a little formally. She glanced around the corridor, her shoulders relaxing when she saw that they were alone.

He stepped back after she accepted the ring, readying himself to depart as she returned inside, but then she turned on her heel and looked at him, biting her lip.

“Doctor, can I ask you something?” Her huge brown eyes were luminous in the muted steel-blue lighting of her quarters.

“Of course, anything.”

She turned her head away for a moment and curled the fingers of one hand over her mouth.

He stepped forward, curious at what it was that she both wanted to ask him but was having trouble actually asking.

“Would it be easier if I come in? Just for a moment,” he added when her eyes grew round.

“I, um, of course.” She stepped back, allowing him entrance, but not moving from the doorway even when the doors whooshed closed behind her.

Julian’s eyes did a swift catalog of the room in the milliseconds it took him to turn around and focus on her. Mostly standard issue quarters, with some attempts to soften the harsh Cardassian architecture with rich earthy toned Bajoran tapestries, cushions, and rugs, lending the room a much more organic and welcoming feel than the slate blue-grey edges of Cardassian style. But the makeover was only an incomplete effort at best, as if the occupant didn’t have a lot of time for such concerns as interior decorating.

She hadn’t put the ring back on her finger yet, just held it between her thumb and forefinger. “What you said earlier…Julian, I need to be able to trust that you will treat what I am going to ask in confidence.”

“Of course. Anything, Nerys.” His tone matched her solemn one, wondering if it was coincidence that she switched to using his first name now that the door was closed and they were alone in her quarters.

“Even if it’s not a medical thing?”

A chill ran down his spine at the look in her eyes. “You have my word.”

She turned away, fidgeting with the ring before setting it down on the table. “Tonight, when we go to the dinner?” she began uncertainly.

“Yes?” he prompted gently when she stopped again.

“I…I don’t want to be there alone when you all go home.” Her voice grew so quiet that Julian wasn’t totally sure he had heard her correctly. Moving slowly, he walked around her until they he was in front of her again. She was still avoiding his eyes.

“Understood, major. I won’t leave before you do.”

“Thanks,” she breathed. She pressed the palm of her hand against her breastbone, her shoulders dropping in relief.

His eyebrows drew down in concern, and he had to tamp down his instinct to reassure her that Sisko wouldn’t hurt her or try to pressure her into anything she wasn’t ready for, but he bit back his words, waiting until she looked up at him.

“It’s not that I think he would—” she paused and swallowed, “um, do anything, it’s just, those quarters—the best on the station. Back when this was Terok Nor, that’s where the guls held their dinner parties, almost every night.”

Unease made his blood run cold. “The Cardassians?”

She inclined her head. “The ones that ran this place.”

He held still until she looked up at him again, her eyes haunted. “A gul is a Cardassian rank. Like the boss, basically.”

“Oh.” He searched her eyes, wondering what he was missing. Worry for her curdled in the pit of his stomach.

Kira turned away from him again and walked over to her window. “They brought Bajoran women back to their quarters at night too, supposedly for dinner.”

He sucked in a sharp breath. _Of course. They were all idiots. _He closed his eyes for a moment, his stomach leaden. “Nerys,” he began.

She brought her arms up around herself. “I know, it’s stupid. He’s hardly Cardassian.”

“You need to tell him this.”

She turned back to him, looked horrified and shrinking into herself. “No! No it’s ridiculous, they’re just rooms.”

“And this is just dinner. Except we both know neither of those things are true, Nerys.”

She was shaking her head fiercely. “Doctor…”

“Julian.”

“_Julian. _Please, don’t tell him any of this, I’m sure he already thinks I’m like some frightened half-wit haru cat, ready to bolt.”

Julian straightened. _ She was thinking about running? _ Something about her inflection made him think she was trying too hard to make the comment sound offhand and his heart broke for her. “Nerys,” he tried as softly as he could. 

Very slowly and with care he moved towards her then reached out and placed his hand over hers where her fingers had a death grip on her own arm just above the elbow. He could feel her stiffen slightly, and he pulled back a little, ready to let her go if she looked like to wanted him to. Relieved when she didn’t flinch or pull away he just kept his hand there, matching his breathing to hers until her chest rose and fell at something more like a normal pace and her fingers uncurled slightly.

“Promise me,” she said, her eyes holding him fast.

“I promise,” he said sincerely, hopeless to deny her anything when she looked at him like that. “I promise I won’t tell Sisko why you’re reluctant to go to his quarters, and that I will not leave you alone there.” His thumb made reassuring circles on her arm.

She breathed out. “Thank you.”

“But Nerys, I am not going to stop encouraging you to talk to him. He can’t fix what he’s doing that makes you uncomfortable if he doesn’t know what it is.”

She frowned. “He’s not doing anything wrong; it’s me that needs to fix things…fix me.”

“You just need some time,” he offered quietly with a small encouraging smile. He watched her closely as she nodded, her teeth sinking into her lower lip. 

As much as he hesitated to push her, worry gnawed at him as to how tonight could play out, and it wasn’t fair to her to not at least try to prepare her as much as he could.

“Nerys, may I ask…and you can just tell me to shut up, it’s none of my business, but have you and the commander kissed yet?”

She eyes went wide. “No!” She shook her head. “No, nothing like that, at all.” Trembling more noticeably now, she detangled their hands, casting a quick glance at him before backing up a few steps. He thought he was just about to be kicked out when she did a sudden about-face and headed for the replicator, wrapping her arms around herself.

“Do you want a drink or anything? Chief O’Brien just got this thing working for hot water at least, I…I could make you tea? Keiko gave me a basket of different kind of Earth teas.”

Taken aback, Julian was trying to work out if she was just being polite and would rather he left her alone when she looked up at him. “Keiko had me try something called Darjeeling?” There was a hopeful tone in her voice and he decided to abandon any notion of decorously declining.

He smiled slightly. “Did you like it?”

She scrunched up her face, forehead wrinkles joining those in her nose in an effect that was utterly adorable. “Kinda like drinking perfume. With lemon.”

He draped his arms loosely behind his back and casually walked over to join her at the replicator.

“How about I make you a different Earth tea, see if you like it?” _ And one with less caffeine than Darjeeling, _he thought to himself, noticing her tense at his proximity.

She smiled and ducked her head. “That would be lovely.”

A comfortable silence fell between them as he rifled through Keiko’s basket, then busied himself making chamomile tea for them both.

He handed her a steaming mug, then folded himself onto the cushions beside where she had perched on her couch.

“Good?” He asked as she tried the chamomile.

“Mmm, yes.”

“Nerys?” 

He waited until she looked up at him again.

“I’m just asking about if he has kissed you because that might be the sort of thing that could happen after a dinner, like tonight.”

She wrapped her hands around her mug and stared down into it.

“I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable,” he added quickly. “It’s just…if he knew how it is for you—with those rooms and what they were used for, then I’m fairly certain he would not try anything like that. But if he thinks this is just dinner, with his bride-to-be, and I know he wants the two of you to get closer, he might just try that.”

She dropped her chin and sipped the chamomile. “I suppose.”

“And I don’t want to have to fix another broken arm so soon after the last one,” he added, a twinkle in his eye.

It had the intended effect of diffusing some of the tension. She huffed out a wry laugh and eyed him.

“Well, if you don’t leave me alone with him…”

“I won’t. I promise. All I am saying is, _telling _him what is going on in your mind in that place could avoid a lot of problems.”

“I’ll think about it,” she whispered.

“Can I make a suggestion though?” 

She nodded. 

“Let me ask Jadzia to help with the not-leaving-alone plan when we are in his quarters, okay?”

Her forehead creased in worry.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell her—or anyone—that it was you that asked, nor will I tell her why. I’ll just say I think it’s too soon. That way we’ll have a backup if I get called away on a medical call because some patron of Quarks stubs a toe on a barstool or something.” He smiled up at her where she was still perched on the arm of the couch.

“That should work, I guess.” She was nodding slowly, staring into space somewhere in the vicinity of his chest. “Except…maybe not Jadzia?”

“No? I thought you were becoming close?”

“We are. I consider her a friend. But with Benjamin…she is really keen for things to happen faster between him and I. She doesn’t understand why I want to put it off for a while.”

Kira’s voice was becoming more and more unsure. Julian nodded, moving his hand to squeeze hers warmly. 

“Okay. Would Miles be a good choice? Or Odo?”

“Umm, Miles, I think? Just don’t, y’know—”

“I won’t mention your reasons, I just put it as my idea, say I’ve noticed you’re a bit jumpy. He’ll be cool about it.”

She hid her expression behind her mug again, and Julian had to resist an urge to just gather her up in his arms and hold her. His resolve not to stay long in case being alone in her quarters with him would further jangle her nerves, was crumbling. Right then she didn’t look remotely like the strong, strident major who could pull the entire bridge crew into line with just one pointed eyebrow. She looked like she just wanted to…his mind flitted back to her haru cat comment. She looked like she was ready to flee.

“Is this okay?” she blurted out.

“Tea?” He quirked an eyebrow. 

“You being here. And…and that we were touching. Winn said…”

“Vedek Winn…oh, _this_ is what the Commander was talking about – he said your religious leaders had been filling your head with horror stories about human men and traditions of marriage on Earth.”

He paused; Kira had gone very still.

“…Or do I have that wrong?”

She shook her head. “No, that’s about accurate. They tried to explain a lot of the cultural differences, they said so I wouldn’t offend him or the federation, or get in trouble.”

“Trouble?”

“Make him angry, or reject me – like if I was being too familiar with another man. They said that, unlike Bajorans, once a human female accepts a husband’s proposal of marriage she shuns all other men, and that if I was to be seen alone with a man who was not my husband, much less letting him touch me, there would be consequences – the whole arrangement could fall apart and Bajor could lose Starfleet’s protection.”

She shuddered, and it was all Julian could do to suppress a shudder of his own. That was an incredible amount of pressure to put on one young woman who was already being forced into a marriage with a man she didn’t know.

“No wonder you so violently rejected that delegate’s advances,” he murmured, half in question. Kira just shrugged, looking uncomfortable and like she wanted to change the topic.

“For what it’s worth, what the vedeks described to you was accurate of some Terran cultures, and may still hold true for some cultures of humans, but thing have become much more enlightened these days,” he offered. 

Kira still looked unconvinced. Julian took a long drink of tea, then decided to tactfully change the subject. “Are you bringing anything? I guess not if your replicator is still offline, huh?”

“To the dinner? Are we supposed to? I just have some katterpod seeds.”

He gave her a quizzical look.

“I promised Jake I would get him some for a project, apparently Keiko is going to have them try to grow things, and he wanted to try something Bajoran. I was thinking katterpod beans are fairly hardy—they survived the occupation after all.”

Julian smiled. “You and Jake get along.”

Kira’s face softened. “Oh yes. He’s a great kid. We hit it off right away.”

“And he has an interest in Bajoran agriculture?”

She laughed. “I think it’s more he has an interest in manufacturing an excuse for a field trip planetside, so Keiko and I are taking them next week. Do you think Jake will be at dinner tonight? I guess if not I can just leave the seeds with the commander.”

“Oh, I can’t imagine he would be anywhere else.” He looked at her questioningly, loving the light in her eyes as she spoke about the younger Mr. Sisko.

Her smile widened. “Good. That’s good.”

“You were thinking he wouldn’t be? Maybe if it had been just the two of you?”

She shrugged, her smile fading. “I guess I’m still too stuck on the idea of Terok Nor dinner parties – definitely no kids there.” She shook herself slightly. “If you’re going to talk to Miles before tonight you’d better go soon, it’s getting late?” she suggested tentatively

Reluctantly he acknowledged that she was right, it was getting close to the time of the dinner. 

She followed him up when he stood, and walked him to the door.

Julian draped his hands behind his back and leaned down slightly. “I’ll see you later, okay? And I’ll make sure I’ll get there early so there’s no chance you’ll arrive before me.”

She swallowed and glanced down before looking up at him and gracing him with an unsteady smile. “Thank you.”


	8. Veklava

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Syndicated 1990s television would love me because I cannot for the life of me work out if this chapter fits before or after the remix of ep 1 x 12 Battlelines, so I wrote it to work either way. But it’s the last day of NaNoWriMo and my version of it this year is posting a chapter for every day in November, so here it is!

It was by the fourth intimate dinner for two that somehow became a dinner party for the senior staff and their dates that Sisko had just about had enough. Oh, he enjoyed the company of his crew well enough, and he was very grateful for how quickly and thoroughly they had begun to gel as a team, able to adapt to each other’s strengths and weaknesses, able to trust each other when danger loomed – which had happened a surprising number of times for such a remote space station in just a short few months. But surely it was time he and Kira be left alone to get to know each other, and for the life of him he didn’t know why his dinner invitations kept turning into these group events.

He looked over at his crew as they polished off the remains of his first attempt at making hasperat – a success if the empty plates were anything to go by. A smaller dinner party than usual as the O’Briens had stayed home with Molly who was feeling poorly. They had sent a bottle of Irish whiskey to make their apologies, and it was already half empty. 

He had also managed to convince his surly security chief to join them for the first time. Despite Odo’s protestations that he didn’t eat, he still seemed to have enjoyed himself, and was right now wrapped up in conversation with Nerys. The two of them seemed close. Benjamin wondered how long they had known each other.

Jake met his eyes across the room as he surveyed his guests, and mouthed “dessert?” hopefully. Benjamin smiled and held up a finger in response, just a minute.

Across from Odo and Kira sat his hapless young medical doctor, his chin propped up on his hand. Julian was unabashedly making eyes at Jadzia, who for her part was holding court with some story of Curzon’s exploits that Benjamin had heard before. He knew if he waited long enough though the young man’s eyes would drift over to check on Kira—he seemed to have set himself as her minder in a way, and he wasn’t alone in that. Odo was very protective of her and the O’Briens had taken a shine to her too. It wasn’t hard to see why; Odo had worked under the Cardassians and had seen their brutal cruelty first hand, and there was no love lost between Miles and the Cardassians after Setlick III.

Completing the group, the young man Jadzia had brought with her was staring at his date just as rapturously as Bashir. He was some visiting delegate from a planet Sisko had forgotten the name of, much as he had forgotten the young man’s name…was it Luck something? Now he was engaging Odo in some discussion about the plausibility of Jadzia’s story, Sisko rolled his eyes and tuned them out.

Taking advantage of how enthralled everyone was with Dax’s narrative, he leaned over and spoke quietly to Kira. “I have a special surprise for dessert tonight.”

Her face broke into a smile, and for a moment he forgot what he was going to say. She was breathtaking when she smiled, it disarmed him every time.

“A surprise?” she echoed, her eyes holding his.

“Want to help me serve it?”

“Um, sure.” She turned back to Odo for a second who nodded at her.

Sisko held out his hand to help her up, and she accepted it, her expression turning shy when she slipped her hand into his. They stood up, and immediately his crew turned to them. Sisko held up a hand. “We’re just going to bring in dessert.”

“Want help?” Julian offered. He had already started to rise.

“No need to get up,” Sisko told him firmly.

“You sure?” Julian paused, his eyes on Kira.

“We got it,” she said quietly, something passing between them Benjamin didn’t understand. 

He shook it off and followed Kira to the kitchen. “I first tasted this when Keiko brought some back from the field trip to Bajor. I’m sorry she and Miles couldn’t make it tonight, I wanted to see if mine measures up.”

“Molly had a fever, so they didn’t want to leave her with the sitter.”

He nodded. “Luckily I have a Bajoran to taste test for me.” He gave her a broad smile, and pushed open the double doors to his expansive kitchen.

She smiled back, but it froze on her face when she saw the sweet confection laid out on trays on the counter.

“Veklava,” she said faintly.

His face fell. “You don’t like it?”

“No, it’s good,” her voice sounded strangled, “it’s just…these kitchens…veklava has been made here before—” she broke off and swallowed. “It was a popular dessert during the occupation,” she finished weakly.

She was still staring at the pastry, her face unnaturally pale.

“Kira, are you all right?”

He moved towards her but was brought up short when she moved back as Jake bounded between them into the kitchen with a hoot. “This is the best part of the whole meal!” he exclaimed. “I sampled this earlier today Nerys, you are going to love it, it’s like the crispy bit from crème brulee, only with a hundred different textures.” He grinned at her and swooped past them, grabbing for a tray.

She smiled back at him, her shoulders relaxing somewhat. If nothing else her love for Jake was clear in her face. There was one aspect of his relationship with Kira in which Benjamin was not at all disappointed – in fact the opposite; her face had lit up when she learned he had a son, and she had immediately taken Jake under her wing. The boy himself rhapsodized about her.

“Careful,” Benjamin admonished the younger Sisko, righting the tray as it tilted dangerously in Jake’s little hands.

“Can I bring it in for everyone, dad? You coming, Nerys?”

Sisko answered for her. “Yes Jake, we’ll be along in a moment.”

Kira shook herself slightly and lifted up the second tray. 

“Everything okay?” He held the door for her when she turned away. 

“Yes, sorry si-Benjamin, it’s just… it just threw me a little, that’s all.” She smiled up at him, but he had become a connoisseur of her smiles by now and this one didn’t quite reach her eyes. And it had been a week or so since she had last slipped and almost called him sir. Then she was gone, back to their friends, and he wondered if he had just imagined her haunted expression.

The veklava was just as popular as the hasperat among everyone but Kira, who barely touched hers. Bashir had looked downright traumatized when he’d had to leave his half-eaten and go check on Molly. Keiko had contacted him to say the little girl’s fever was spiking, and Sisko was surprised by how reluctant the young doctor had been to leave—he had sent a nurse to their quarters right away of course. It was Kira who practically pushed him out the door, over his protestations that he would be right back.

Jake had been sent to bed a while ago, and now Kira was making motions to leave too. 

Dax nudged him and raised her eyebrows. “I’m thinking I might turn in soon too. Luckasz and I had a long day. How about you, Odo?” She turned with a pointed eyebrow to the last person in the room other than Kira and Sisko himself.

“You could walk me back to my quarters, Odo?” Kira chimed in as she gathered plates and took them to the replicator. Dax’s shoulders drooped and she kicked Benjamin under the table while Kira’s back was turned.

He blew out an exasperated breath and tossed his napkin down on the table.

“Want help?” Odo offered Kira as she balanced the serving trays in her arms. 

“No I got it, I’ll be right back.” She headed into the kitchen as Sisko stood up, ignoring Jadzia now – he had gotten her point and knew she was well-meaning. She was well aware of his frustrations at never being able to get Kira alone.

He found Kira in the kitchen. “Nerys.”

At the sound of his voice the tray slid from her clutch and dropped into the sink, the clang making her jump. She spun around and he caught panic flitting across her face before she carefully schooled her features into a more composed expression.

Her reaction surprised him and derailed his resolve, she had seemed just fine a few moments ago. “Nerys,” he said much softer now. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, you…you startled me, that’s all.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, softly. “I just…I wanted to ask if you would consider staying a little later tonight, that’s all. I thought we could talk.” 

Her gaze flew to the kitchen door than had closed behind him, then she looked down, her chest rising and falling too quickly. Her finger twisted the ring, which wrenched at his heart—she had been doing that so much less lately. She opened her mouth and closed it again.

“Get to know each other a little better?” he offered hopefully, encouraged that she wasn’t spouting excuses about cataloguing medical files with Bashir or reviewing security logs with Odo. He took a tentative step towards her, then stopped immediately when she backed up against the sink, her hip pressing hard into the rim of the countertop.

“You’re still scared.” It wasn’t a question. His heart sank.

“I…I’m not ready, sir,” she whispered. 

“For talking?” He failed to bite back the bitter tone, and she shrank back as if she had been slapped. His stomach sunk further still and his mouth went dry. He didn’t bother to remind her not to ‘sir’ him when they were off-duty, she was so clearly uncomfortable. 

She raised her eyes to his and it was his turn to reel back at the expression he saw in her face: she was looking at him incredulously, as if they both knew that _‘talking’ _was a lie.

“You don’t believe me,” he breathed. “Nerys, what do you think I mean?”

She swallowed and looked around her as if for an escape, a haunted shadow in her eyes. “This is how it happened. On Terok Nor.”

Something about her voice made the hair stand up on the back of his neck. He fell silent. She didn’t say anything say for the longest time, her face so drawn and pale it was all Sisko could do not to call for Doctor Bashir. Instead he backed up and pulled a stool under him, sitting so he was no longer towering over her in the narrow space.

“Go on, please, Nerys.”

She met his eyes, then looked down again. “At the end of the shift they would select,” she paused and her jaw worked, “comfort women. Bring them to dinner in their quarters, then after the meal—the only food the women had eaten all day—the junior officers were shooed out, but the Bajoran girls were not permitted to leave. Countless women, in all the command staff quarters—these quarters right here—night after night, for years.”

Sisko could feel the blood draining from his face and his throat constricting as if he might throw up. He dropped his face into his hands, pressing the heel of his hand so hard against his teeth he tasted blood just to prevent himself from asking her to stop talking because he couldn’t stand to hear anymore. 

But she had already stopped and someone else was saying _I‘m sorry I‘m sorry_ over and over again and it took him a moment to realize it was his own voice. He clamped his mouth shut, but somehow the ensuing silence between them was worse.

“This…this…was on your mind every time I forced you to come to dinner here?” he hissed, choking on his own self-loathing. “Oh Kira.” He swore under his breath. “On my word, Nerys, can you ever forgive me?”

He still couldn’t bring himself to look at her, but her voice floated down to him through the metallic clang of horror ringing in his ears.

“There’s nothing to forgive, sir, it wasn’t you. I know that, I was just trying to explain…”

He held up a hand, the rawness in her voice too much for him. “I know, and…and I am so sorry I pushed you into having to tell me that. I should have realized.” The realities of the occupation were beginning to hit home in a much more meaningful way than the handful of reports he had read for the mission briefing on the journey out here. 

His hand clenched into a fist. “I can’t do this. We can’t do this.”

By the time he looked up again she had disappeared.

He stood up abruptly, his eyes wide with sudden clarity. His footfalls heavy, he half-walked, half-staggered out of the kitchen. Dax was staring at him, her face a mirror of the horror he felt. He wondered how much of a mess Kira had been when she walked out of the kitchen.

“Nerys?” he asked her.

“Odo and Julian walked her back to her quarters. She’ll be okay. I sent Luckasz home too.”

“Julian came back?”

Dax nodded. “I guess Molly was fine after all. Benjamin, what happened?”

“We can’t do this.” Sisko said firmly. “This marriage…any of it. None of it.”

Dax sat down on his couch with a loud sigh and reached for O’Brien’s whiskey. “I’m beginning to think you’re right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have 49 minutes to get the next chapter up, wish me luck!


	9. Unfathomable

When his door buzzer sounded the next morning it was the last person Sisko had expected to see standing there.

“Good morning, Benjamin.” Kira looked a little awkward, but she squared her shoulders and held his gaze as he stared at her. 

“Nerys. I…”

She glanced past him, and impossibly, her face relaxed into a smile. 

“Nerys!” Jake, still in his pajamas, ran over and tackle-hugged her.

She hugged him back enthusiastically, ruffling his hair and dropping a kiss on his head. “Good morning Jake. I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“No, dad was just trying to tempt me out of bed with French toast, I have to run and meet Nog soon but do you want to join us for breakfast?”

Sisko opened his mouth to answer for her before she was caught in an awkward situation, but she beat him to it.

“I’d like that.” Her eyes moved to Sisko’s face. “If that’s all right with your dad?”

Jake didn’t bother waiting for an answer, he ran off to dish up more food for their guest.

Sisko and Kira looked at each other for a beat. She tried for a sheepish smile, her fingers twisting together.

“You are always welcome.” He moved back, giving her plenty of space. “But Nerys, don’t feel you have to,” he murmured quietly as she stepped tentatively into his quarters.

“I’m sorry about last night,” she answered in a low voice, her eyes beseeching. “I just overreacted.”

He shook his head. “You weren’t overreacting, not at all. And I’m the one who is sorry,” he breathed.

She reached out tentatively, and he didn’t miss the tremble in her fingers as they wrapped warmly around his forearm for a moment. “We can talk when Jake goes to see Nog?” she asked hopefully.

He nodded, still bewildered. He had expected she would avoid him for days, or would maybe never want to see him again. Instead here she was, nervous, but pushing through it. He watched as she joined Jake at the table. His young boy was shoving French toast toward her and chattering away. It make his chest ache to see how close they had become so quickly.

“Do you want help clearing up?” she asked once Jake was out the door. 

He returned to the table and leaned against it. “No, that’s okay. We need to talk, Nerys.”

She bit her lip. “I know. I really am sorry about last night.”

“You did nothing wrong. But I think we both know, we can’t go on like this.”

Seeming to shrink in on herself she nodded miserably. “I’m sorry. I’ll do better at talking to you about this stuff in the future.”

He sighed. “If you weren’t comfortable talking to me about something like that—and I can’t imagine why you would be—I can hardly blame you. No I mean all of it—the wedding, the sham marriage, we can’t do this.”

She stared at him, her mouth falling open. “We can’t do...”

“This. A forced marriage. Any of it. It’s wrong, we both feel it. You…your whole people, you’ve been through so much, and this marriage is only hurting you further.”

Her eyes widened, horror-struck. “No! No, Commander,” she sucked in a sharp breath, “we have to go through with it, there’s no other way!” She abandoned her post at the table to place her hand on his arm – possibly only the second time she had ever touched him of her own free will that Sisko could remember.

And here she was, unflinchingly squaring up to something that filled her with fear, determined to go through with it despite that fear. For the first time Benjamin Sisko admitted to himself that for a while now he felt something he never thought he would again once Jennifer died in his arms: the first flickers of falling in love. 

And falling _hard._

His mouth twisted at the irony of the timing. “Nerys…you don’t want this.”

“Please.” She swallowed hard, her eyes suspiciously bright. “Bajor needs us to do this. I can handle, I just…I need a little more time.”

He found himself nodding, even though he remained convinced that this was wrong, and they needed to find another way, but he nodded anyway, told her he would go through with it as long as she wanted him to, because he could see the panic in her eyes and the last thing he wanted was for her to regret finally being honest with him. So he told her what she needed to hear.

When she had calmed down, Sisko indicated for them to sit together on his couch. “Listen,” he said gently, very carefully taking her hand as they walked across the room. “I want to get out of these quarters. Today Jake and I are going to find new ones. We’re going to repurpose all the quarters that were used for…for what you described. You won’t even recognize them when we’re done, I promise.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Her eyes were shining. 

“Yes, I do. Even if you don’t ever feel ready and we go to our graves betrothed…”

Kira opened her mouth to object but he held up a hand to forestall her.

“…I will still want to host my senior staff for dinner parties, and you will never be expected to stay after, I promise. But if you should happen to stay after then I give you my solemn word, Kira Nerys, whether we are engaged, married, or simply colleagues, I will never expect more from you than you want to give, do you understand?”

She nodded, her eyes round. She had paused at the edge of the couch and Sisko began to have second thoughts about making them sit down. When he had planned this conversation in his head he had thought she would need a few days first, and he had even put thought into whether he should ask Jadzia or Julian to join them.

“And Kira? If you want to stay betrothed to me,” he paused while she nodded firmly, “then there’s something else I think we need to settle, going forward.”

She sat down suddenly, as if her knees had given out.

Frowning in concern, Benjamin perched beside her, reaching for her hand. He kept forgetting how good she was at looking composed when inside she was anything but. 

“All right?” he whispered. Kira nodded, the corners of her mouth pulling back into a weak attempt at a smile to reassure him. Even now she was still trying to make him feel better.

She looked up at him and took a deep breath, her hand tightening on his. “Y-you can’t fathom the irreparable harm it could cause Bajor if this marriage fails. I’ll agree to anything you want, if it means we stay engaged, for Bajor.”

Sisko exhaled slowly, this was rapidly going south and he needed to fix it, fast. “What I would like to propose – and your Vedek Winn will like this one, Nerys – is that we avail ourselves of old Terran traditions – common in many Earth cultures and religions, many of which persist today, in which a bride and groom—”

He paused, realizing that in his mind he had completely moved Nerys out of the potential romantic partner category and into the professional colleague and friend category she more comfortably fit in all along, and as such, he had to choose his words delicately. “Well, in such traditions the bride and groom refrain from any activities of a physically intimate nature completely until the wedding night.”

Her eyes widened but she didn’t say anything.

“Would that be acceptable?”

Kira was looking at him a little askance. “If you’re sure…I mean…so they…on the wedding day? Just all at once?” She looked vaguely alarmed.

He hesitated. “By no means does it have to be all at once, or at all, if you don’t feel ready at that point. I just mean you don’t have to worry about me making any advances, trying to kiss you, or touch you, nothing like that.”

He wanted to squirm at the awkwardness of this conversation, and it looked like Kira did too—if she was even hearing him, she had a startled-deer-in-headlights look—but Sisko had to try, he couldn’t stand another minute of his first officer fearing his touch, now that he knew what was in her mind just from something as innocent (or so he had thought) as a group dinner invitation.

“All right?” he prompted again.

“Okay,” Kira breathed out, blinking a few times. “Okay then. If you are sure.”

He couldn’t tell if her shoulders relaxed slightly but he liked to tell himself it was the case.

She scrunched up her face. “They really do that, humans? What if you…” she faltered.

“Go on, it’s okay.”

“Well, what if you get married, and then,” she rolled her hand vaguely, her cheeks pinking in a way Sisko berated himself for finding so utterly adorable. “And then, you know, you aren’t…”

“Compatible in bed?” he finished for her.

She gulped and nodded. “Not that it matters in our case.” She looked down then, her cheeks burning, but when he caught her eye again she looked chagrined rather than frightened.

“Well, I suppose rules like that were much more common when human society practiced arranged marriage too – so, like in our case, there would have been bigger forces at play keeping a couple together than physical compatibility.”

She chewed the inside of her cheek. “I suppose that makes sense.” Her eyes darted around the room, and she looked extremely keen to change the subject. “You’re really going to re-do these quarters? The guls had all four of these command-level quarters in this wing.”

“Then we will re-do all four. Anywhere else?”

She shook her head, her wide eyes locked on his.

“I mean it, Kira, I will re-do the entire station if it helps you rest easier here.”

“Even if you decide the engagement is off?”

“That wouldn’t change anything. I already sketched some plans last night actually. I couldn’t sleep,” he paused, knowing they both should be getting to ops soon, “want to see?”

Her face lit up, and his heart skipped a beat. The relief he experienced at how comfortable she seemed around him now was indescribable. He decided they could be late for their shift, station commander’s prerogative.

He splayed out the diagrams on the breakfast bar, and she leaned over them.

“These are…completely different,” she said in wonder. 

“Actually these will be my new quarters, at the other end of the habitat ring.”

She looked at him, furrowing her brow in confusion. “And these rooms?” She gestured to where they now sat.

He shrugged. “Jake wants a movie theater, or a holodeck big enough to house a pool. Dax has always said this place needs a better gym, or Miles has hinted at an arboretum.”

“For Keiko,” Kira breathed.

“Or a classroom...apparently she has some notion of corralling the station’s kids into a school of some kind. These rooms will be unrecognizable, Nerys. I know we cannot whitewash what happened on Terok Nor, but I can at least make sure you don’t have to face reminders on a daily basis.”

She swallowed hard and pressed her lips together. “Thank you.” She was looking at him steadily.

His breath caught as she moved closer to him than she had ever dared to before. Her unfathomable deep brown eyes held him transfixed. He had just got done telling her they didn’t have to have any physical contact at all before the wedding—or ever—if that made things easier for her, and ever since then she had been so much more relaxed around him that Benjamin found himself wishing he had had the presence of mind to have such a conversation weeks ago.

Her eyes dropped to his lips, and his breath caught. 

“Nerys?” he asked before he could stop himself. He didn’t know what was more startling: that she looked like she wanted to kiss him, or how much he _wanted_ her to kiss him.

She froze for a moment and seemed to catch herself, pulling back and giving him a small self-conscious smile, biting her lip.

“I should, um, be in ops,” she murmured, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth as she watched him, her eyes still uncertain, but definitely not unhappy.

“Um, yes.” His voice was so deep it was almost a rumble.

She practically ran out the door, pausing only momentarily on the threshold to give him one last look. The color was high in her cheeks, and she gave him a shy smile that took his breath away.

Then the door whooshed closed behind her and Sisko leaned back, his mind spinning, willing his heart to slow down as he tried to process what just happened. He had had such clarity that this marriage was wrong, that it was right to call everything off.

It had been the right thing to do. And while he could still tell himself he was not half in love with her, it had been the easier thing to do. But now…Now all of his resolve to end this had completely evaporated.

He ran his hand over his head and swore under his breath.


	10. Scrutiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me, anyone still reading, but post-NaNoWriMo I retconned the end of previous chapter a bit, after adding some more chapters after this one in December, I just couldn't reconcile with the ending of chapter 7...but they will get there (the sexy times!) in the end, I promise :)

Ridiculous as it was, she felt that everyone would look at her and just _know_ she had almost kissed Commander Sisko. This was ridiculous, they were betrothed, she was _supposed _to kiss him, and so much more, not feel absurdly guilty over just the idea of it.

She schooled her features into what she hoped was a neutral expression as she stepped off the turbolift, dropping the small embarrassed smile that was playing about her lips. 

She nodded as curtly as she could to Dax and O’Brien as she took her place at her usual console. “Chief. How’s Molly?”

Miles looked up at her over the rim of his steaming coffee cup. “Much better, thank you Major. Sorry to have pulled Julian away in the middle of dinner. How, uh…how did it go?”

Dax was practically hanging on her every word as she looked up at them both.

“It was really nice. The commander made hasperat and veklava.” _And I managed not to point out that veklava was famously served to comfort women the very first night they were brought to meet their Cardassian lovers, and in my mind had become a symbol of all that is sickly sweet and repugnant about everything to do with collaborators._

“Oh, and thank you for the whiskey, we all enjoyed it,” she added.

“Aye, that was the good stuff!” Miles smiled at her and went back to tinkering with cables under the console in the Ops pit. 

Dax was still watching her like a hawk. She sidled up to Kira when no one else was paying attention, and handed her a raktajino. “How are you today?” she asked quietly.

“I’m fine.” Kira paused in her task of checking Odo’s security log and looked up at her friend, giving her what she hoped was a relaxed smile. “Thank you,” she held up the raktajino in appreciation and sipped it.

Dax scrutinized her face. “You sure? Things seemed to get a little intense between you and Benjamin last night…if you want to talk—”

Kira could see the genuine concern in Jadzia’s eyes. She reached out and clasped her hand. “It’s all right. We smoothed everything over.” She bit her lip, and looked down, wary in case her face gave anything away.

Dax’s voice rose in surprise. “You did?”

Kira shushed her.

Dax went quiet for a few moments. “…And you talked?” she prompted eventually.

“Uh huh,” she wrapped her hands around the raktajino mug and sipped it again, more to keep herself from fidgeting under Dax’s scrutiny than anything else. She was anything but hungry—between dinner last night and French toast this morning it was more food than they might have seen in a week in the resistance and her body wasn’t used to it.

“And?”

“And I told you, everything is fine now.”

The thrum of the turbolift announced Sisko’s arrival at Ops. Folding her arms, Dax leaned against the console and just watched him.

He glanced around, bidding the crew good morning, until his gaze settled on Kira.

She smiled at him shyly, feeling Dax’s eyes on them both. 

“Good morning Major, Lieutenant.”

At the low rumble of his voice, Kira couldn’t help it, she blushed. She echoed Dax’s “sir” in reply to his greeting, and dipped her head, busying herself with the display.

Once the doors to Sisko’s office whooshed closed behind him, Dax rounded on her, as Kira had known she would. 

“What. Is going. On?”

Unable to resist a tiny, nervous smile, Kira refused to look up. She gestured at Odo’s overnight security report on her screen. “Almost a dust up on the promenade last night, Liseppians were apparently convinced Quark had cheated them at dabo, but Odo’s deputies handled it. Not much else to report from security. Wormhole has been quiet.”

Jadzia leant on the console and whispered, “you know that’s not what I’m talking about.”

Kira just kept focusing her gaze elsewhere. Out of the corner of her eye she noted the rest of the ops crew maintaining a respectful distance, something she was thankful for.

“Something happened between you two, and I know it wasn’t last night because Julian said he was with you after you left the dinner.”

Kira threw a sharp glance at her. _“Dax.”_

“Oh don’t worry, he didn’t come straight out and tell me, I worked it out on my own. In fact you are the _only _topic on the station I can’t get him to babble on about. He tells me practically nothing about what is going on with you two…” 

Her last phrase took on a speculative air, her eyes dancing with mirth when Kira shot her a stern look. “That’s because there _is_ nothing going on with Julian and I, and I know you know that. He’s a friend. Don’t go trying to stir up trouble, Jadzia.”

Jadzia merely smiled laconically. “So then, talk about Benjamin. You saw him already today?”

Kira sighed, recognizing Jadzia’s ploy to get her riled up about Julian just so she would blurt out what was going on with Sisko. “Fine.” She set down her raktajino. “I stopped by his quarters and got breakfast with him and Jake. It was…really nice actually.”

The Trill’s smile widened. “_Really? _Do tell!”

Kira just shrugged as nonchalantly as she could manage.

Dax nudged her. “I am going to judge by the both of you being a little late this morning that you stayed around after Jake went out.”

Kira bit her lip and turned back to Odo’s activity reports.

“Was it something bad?” Jadzia lowered her voice and her voice grew concerned.

“No, nothing bad.” Kira was both touched by her friends concern and also frustrated at her fishing for information.

“So it was something good!” Jadzia brightened considerably. “The wedding’s back on?”

That brought Kira up short and she abandoned her pretense of studying the console readouts. “He talked to you about calling it off? Was he was serious do you think?” She searched Jadzia’s eyes, her knuckles whitening on the edge of the console. 

“He was panicking. Much like you are now.” She reached out and wrapped a hand gently around Kira’s arm. “It’s very important to him that you don’t get pushed into anything you don’t want.”

Kira pressed her lips together to keep from saying something she would regret, something about how it was mystifying Starfleet officers somehow expected to go their entire lives never being asked to take on a difficult or unwanted assignment, and life not being that rosy for Bajorans.

“What I want is whatever is best for Bajor,” she said tightly, then brushed her hand over Jadzia’s to soften her tone. 

“Well then, maybe a better way to put it is that Benjamin doesn’t want you pushed into something you’re not ready for. None of us do.”

She lowered her voice further and leant in as Kira turned back to the console. “But if the wedding is going ahead…well, it’s not as if either the Vedek council or Starfleet is going to be there on your wedding night is it? All _that_ stuff could just wait—forever as far as you guys are concerned.”

She smiled gently at Kira, who was too stunned to respond at first. “W-what?”

Dax shrugged lightly and murmured, “what was making you uncomfortable last night doesn’t have to be a thing—there are plenty of marriages in name only.” Jadzia trailed off as she registered Kira’s reaction. “You okay? You’re as white as a sheet! Benjamin said you and him would talk about this.”

Kira shook her head, wishing she could get her fingers to ease their death grip on the console. She was fairly certain she would have remembered a conversation like this with her betrothed.

“That wasn’t part of what you and him discussed this morning then?”

Kira closed her eyes and shuddered. “I…oh, you mean…” She closed her mouth. She felt uncomfortable discussing anything that happened between her and the commander with anyone else, but she did recall his offer that they not undertake a physical side to their relationship before marriage. That was different than what Dax was talking about though. Waiting until marriage was not unheard of—Bajoran betrothals were not drawn out affairs—but waiting _after _marriage didn’t even make sense. If they did that they wouldn’t even _be_ married.

She closed her eyes in mounting horror. The idea of _that_ stuff—as Dax had so eloquently put it—had been a daunting enough prospect with an alien. Her mind couldn’t even begin to grapple with the possibility that Sisko was only going along with the marriage because he thought that part was optional and they could just…what? Skip it?

“So are you saying you think he would get married and not, uh…not consummate it?” she said quietly.

“Yep,” Dax replied casually.

Kira shook her head in disbelief. “It doesn’t work like that for a marriage on Bajor. It’s part of the wedding ceremony.”

Dax looked confused. “It is?”

“Not a public part, obviously,” Kira’s voice faded in embarrassment. 

“So no one has to know if you don’t do it.”

“_We_ would know,” Kira spluttered, fighting to keep her voice quiet, aware they were attracting curious glances from the rest of Ops despite their low tones. “I mean, if we are going to do that we might as well fake the ceremony and the marriage license too!”

Dax cocked her head. “That’s interesting. I wonder if Trill or Human societies might have seen it that way historically?”

“You’re acting like this is no big deal!” Kira hissed.

“So then sleep with him,” Dax whispered with a shrug, like it was the easiest solution in the world.

Kira made a noise in the back of her throat.

“Oh come on, admit you’ve at least thought about it, I know I have—at least as Jadzia.” 

Turning back to retrieve her raktajino to buy herself a few moments to think, Kira’s mind almost shut down at the direction this conversation was going.

“I…um…I’m going to go chat with Odo about the uh…fight on the promenade, make sure his deputies have everything squared away.”

“Uh huh.”

Kira could feel Dax’s eyes on her as she hurried away, and she had a feeling the science officer would have Bajoran wedding and marriage customs thoroughly researched before Kira had even reached Security. She resolved to find a way to spend the rest of the shift anywhere but Ops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! This series continues here: [archiveofourown.org/works/21643090](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21643090)


End file.
